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While many of us experience irritability or moodiness during our periods, helping your daughter through puberty means keeping an eye on the extremity of her mood swings.

If she shows ﬁve or more of the following symptoms to a worrying degree, she may have a syndrome called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD):

- Deep sadness or despair, with possible suicidal thoughts
- Crying
- Fatigue
- Lasting irritability and anger issues
- Disinterest in daily activities and relationships
- Low energy
- Lasting feelings of tension or anxiety
- Trouble thinking or focusing
- Food cravings or binge eating
- Panic attacks
- Feeling out of control or overwhelmed

Thankfully, PMMD can be managed with treatment so, if you think your daughter may be suffering from it, speak to your GP to get a diagnosis.

Extreme mood swings

As much as she might not want it to happen, a certain amount of weight gain is normal. Part of helping your daughter through puberty involves providing reassurance that this is natural, because adult women have more body fat than young girls.

However, if she’s gaining a lot of weight, you’ll need to support her in adopting a healthier lifestyle. Rather than focusing on the scales, encourage her to eat well and stay active to keep herself physically (and mentally) ﬁt.

Weight gain during puberty

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Nothing is guaranteed to make her toes curl more than you tiptoe-ing round the subject.

When starting to explain puberty, avoid euphemisms. Using phrases like ‘foof’ or ‘front bottom’, or replacing words like ‘period’ with ‘time of the month’, can send out subtle messages that periods are something to be embarrassed about.

Be clear that puberty is something that everyone goes through – mums, dads and brothers included!

Be matter of fact

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## Having "The Talk"
Puberty, with its physical and emotional changes, can be a rollercoaster ride for girls, so it’s important to have honest and open conversations. How you explain puberty to your daughter will set the tone for the next few years (no pressure!).

If you think it’s time to explain puberty to your daughter and have the ‘period talk’, follow these tips.

A117 How To Explain Periods And Puberty To Your Daughter

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How To Explain Periods And Puberty To Your Daughter

## Is it Normal?

During puberty, it can be hard to know what’s “normal” and what’s not. In this article we share some of girls’ most common concerns, with expert advice so you can be sure you’re helping your daughter through puberty in the right way – and seeking support when she needs it.

Dr Nihara Krause

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Dr Krause is a highly experienced Consultant Clinical Psychologist and lecturer in adolescent and adult mental health.

Dr Nihara Krause - Consultant Clinical Psychologist 

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There’s no need for your daughter to go to the doctor when she gets her ﬁrst period. However, you should book an appointment if she:

- Has severe [menstrual cramps](/en-gb/period-hub/symptoms-explained/why-are-you-tired-before-period/) or any other extreme [pelvic pains](/en-gb/period-hub/symptoms-explained/symptoms-before-your-period/)
- Experiences bleeding that is unusually heavy or lasts more than seven days
- Has vaginal itching, redness, sores, swelling, an unusual odour or discharge
- Is thinking of becoming sexually active and needs to discuss contraception and safe sex habits
- Might be pregnant
- Notices a change in the regularity of her periods after more than a year
- Experiences frequent urination or a burning sensation when she urinates
- Has any injury to her pelvic area
- Has had non-consensual sex or may have been exposed to a sexually transmitted disease.

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Research has shown that when a mother relays her own experiences to help explain puberty, it gives her daughter a framework with which to understand the world.

It doesn’t matter if your story is about something difﬁcult, such as feeling embarrassed because of your period in the school changing rooms. As long as there’s a positive resolution, your experiences can provide valuable lessons, and help her feel like she can talk to you.

Share your experiences

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As soon as you notice the ﬁrst signs of puberty, start having regular talks to help your daughter understand the changes she’s experiencing & how to cope.

If you’ve noticed signs of vaginal discharge in her underwear, reassure her that it’s completely normal. Talk to her about using [pantyliners](/en-gb/feminine-products/panty-liners/), which can help her feel fresh all day long. This is also the perfect time to explain periods to a child.

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Softness and protection without hampering the comfort is what you probably want the most during your period, even more so if your period in on the heavy side. [Always Platinum Normal](/en-gb/feminine-products/sanitary-towels/always-platinum/always-platinum-normal-sanitary-pads-wings/) period pads provide you with all the necessary protection while being also gentle to your skin and extremely effective in absorbing any leakage, so you could feel confident and comfortable through the day!

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The more you can encourage everyone in the household to be open about puberty and periods, the better.

- Send Dad to pick up pads or tampons from the shop, or ask your son to put your period products in the bathroom when unpacking the shopping.

- Mention to other members of the family that you have your period so that your daughter understands that periods are not a taboo subject.

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Dr Krause is a highly experienced __Consultant Clinical Psychologist__ and __lecturer in adolescent and adult mental health.__ 

She is a highly skilled clinician who, having worked in the NHS __specialising in eating disorders and self-harm__, now runs her own private practice. Amongst many interests, she is particularly keen to explore the provision of effective early intervention through creating evidence-based health tech, in the treatment of complex psychological issues and in __enhancing mental health and resilience__. As a result she practises as a clinician, is a lecturer and speaker both nationally and internationally, has contributed to government discussion on mental health, is the __founder of stem4__, a teenage mental health charity, has created four mental health apps successfully across the world and regularly contributes to the media. She was the clinician involved in presenting the first __UK ‘Empathy Project’ for Facebook__. Her latest project is developing a mental health literacy programme for secondary schools.

Dr Krause was awarded the Mayor of London Award 2014, the ‘Point of Light Award’ in 2015, the Positive Practice Award 2017 and the Merton 2018 award. In 2019 Dr Krause received the __British Citizen Award__ for outstanding contribution to mental health. She has currently been nominated for the Digital Leaders top 100 award, the finals of which will be in October 2020.

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Friendships can be a challenging part of puberty. Your daughter may not be particularly sociable, but if she seems generally happy there’s no need to worry. However, if she ﬁnds social situations tough, these tips on how to help your child through puberty can help:

Encourage her to plan an activity – like having a sleepover with a friend or playing football in the park.

Give your daughter lots of praise for her efforts to help build her self- esteem.

If she lacks conﬁdence, help her identify other kids who share similar interests, or suggest she joins a club where she might meet like-minded people.

Try not to pressure her about friends or constantly discuss the situation.

Problems making friends

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Puberty usually starts between 9 and 13 years old. During this time, your daughter will experience most or all of these changes:

 - __Developing breasts__
 - __Weight gain__
 - __Spots / acne__
 - __Body hair growth__
 - __Greasier hair__
 - __Sweating / body odour__
 - __Vaginal discharge__
 - __Mood swings__
 - __Broadening of the hips and thighs__

Reassure her that she shouldn’t be self-conscious as all of her friends are going through these changes – or will be soon!

If she hasn’t shown any of the signs of starting puberty by the age of 13, it’s a good idea to speak to your GP for advice.

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9 signs she’s hitting puberty

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3 Stretches for Period Cramps

While most girls expect hair to grow on their arms, legs and pubic area, your daughter might be surprised to ﬁnd it springing up in other places, too! From upper lips to nipples and chins, it’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

It’s up to her to decide whether she wants to remove it, but there are no rules. You can help by reassuring her that this hair growth is normal, and by discussing the different ways in which she can remove it, if that’s what she wants to do.

Spotting between periods can be confusing, to say the least.Spotting is light vaginal bleeding that happens between periods. If it’s happening just before or after her usual period, it’s most likely normal. However, if it’s happening often or unpredictably, consider taking her to the doctor.

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If you think it’s time to explain puberty to your daughter and have the ‘period talk’, visit our website and follow our tips!

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Once you’ve mastered the art of how to explain puberty, it’s time to make sure she’s fully prepared for her period:

### Do a show-and-tell
Talk to her about the range of period products on offer – different sizes and shapes of pads, tampons with and without applicators, menstrual cups and period underwear – and show her what you use.

### Discuss her needs
Talk about which products she would like to try. Most girls like to start with pads. Suggest she tries Always Ultra, which provide up to 100% protection, and help her use the Always My Fit chart (below) to ﬁnd the perfect pad to suit her.

### Pack a ﬁrst-period kit
Buy her a pouch to put her products in so that she can carry it in her schoolbag and be ready for her ﬁrst period. Pack a range of products of different sizes and absorbencies, and include items like spare underwear and hand sanitiser.

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Getting her period ready

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Explain Periods and Puberty

We share some of girls’ most common concerns, with expert advice so you can be sure you’re helping your daughter through puberty in the right way!

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Encourage period openness

No one should suffer excruciatingly bad period pain.

Regular cramps feel like mild to average prolonged pain in the lower abdomen, lower back and even upper legs. They are normal. Our [Helping Her Manage PMS And Cramps](/en-gb/period-hub/symptoms-explained/why-are-you-tired-before-period/) article is full of useful tips you can share with your daughter.

Severe period pain and extreme cramps are different. They’re the ones that regularly keep her home from school or don’t respond to over-the-counter painkillers.

We keep telling you how normal going through puberty is for a reason — it really is normal! If you can keep from panicking, you can use this special time in your life to learn about yourself. Here are some ways to keep from worrying too much.

- [Take care of yourself](/en-gb/feminine-products/panty-liners). Be careful with food cravings (like wanting only ice cream for dinner). Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables. Exercise. This is good for your body and mind. Taking out your anger on a tennis ball or treadmill can make you feel great again, too.
- Talk to someone. Amazingly, [parents](/en-gb/period-hub/first-period-and-puberty/how-to-explain-periods-and-puberty-to-your-daughter/) and teachers can be really helpful, and you can count on other adults, too, if you're more comfortable with that. Your friends might really appreciate knowing that you're going through puberty just like they are, but don't depend on them for real information. Go to someone who's been through it.
- Concentrate on school and hobbies. Your brain is growing, and this is a great opportunity to use it. The hobbies that you liked in the past will be even more fun now, and you'll develop new interests. Do something creative to express all your new emotions. You’ll probably notice that doing what you love gives you lots of self-confidence, too!

How do you keep from panicking about puberty?
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Your daughter – or indeed you – may feel awkward discussing her ﬁrst period. Rather than having to explain periods to a child straight off the bat, open up the conversation by writing a note and leaving it somewhere she can ﬁnd it. You could try something like:

I don't want you to be confused or worried about your period. I'll always be here for you, any time you want to talk about periods, or ask about pads or tampons or anything, just let me know. Love you X

The important thing is that it’s written in a tone that sounds like you.

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